Disasters

When I was engaged last year, my life became a whirlwhind of stress, anger, and disaster.

There was a lot of fun, excitment, and joy too.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."-I guess that's a good way to put it.

So, for your entertainment, I am going to tell you all the crazy and bad things that happened before I made the biggest jump of my life thus far.

6 months before: Started having bad enough anxiety that I stopped denying the fact that I needed therapy. Way bad anxiety.

Also, started living with a strange roommate. Tension in the apartment skyrockets.

2 1/2 months before: Get strep throat literally hours after taking engagment photos. Which was during spring break.

1 month before: Depressive symptoms start kicking in as side effect from birth control. I didn't know it at the time, but looking back, I turned into a whole different person.

Also, sick again with a super bad cold.

2 weeks before: Seamstress messes up sizing on my dress, and this fact isn't realized until it's too late. Also, strange yellowed areas are found on the skirt of my dress. Yikes.

Best friend holds bridal shower for me and I somehow miss the detail that the shower is at my parents house until 15 minutes before said shower. House is a mess. I have to clean it.

1 week before: Still sick, and still trying to get dress figured out. During the past month, I am more stressed than ever before, and my mom and I pretty much hate each other. And I am not even going to go into the whole "Crap I need a job and don't have time to look!" thing.

Day of: I wake up, start to put on wedding breakfast outfit, and the zipper of my dress destroys itself. All of my other clothes are moved into my new apartment, which is 1 1/2 hours away from my parents house. None of my sisters are even close to my size. So, we go to Target.

Wedding breakfast makes me feel sick. But it's not too bad.

Craig's family tells strange and embarrasing stories about him, and because of my elevated state of anxiety all rational thought leaves me and I spend about the next half hour convinced I am marrying someone with major psychological problems.

On the way to the temple, it rains.

And then, we get into the temple. It's so beautiful and calm. Craig and I sit in the temple, talking, for about half an hour before our wedding ceremony. We talk about our dreams and how we want our life and home to be. We both can't stop smiling and crying as we sit together thinking about our life together and how much we love each other. We look at the beautiful paintings on the walls, and the beautiful flowers that are all over the place. And we both know that in that moment, we are just inches away from heaven.

I don't remember much of the ceremony, just that it was simple and beautiful. But sometimes Craig and I still get to experience those little moments of being inches from heaven, both at the temple and at home. He is such a blessing in my life.

Was being engaged the most difficult 6 months of my life? You betcha. Did I feel horrible, lonely, and anxious the whole time? Almost.

Do I feel better now? More than you can know!

Sometimes, when we are about to do something really amazingly good for our lives and the lives of others, lots of bad things happen to us. Call if what you will...adversity, satan, temptation...
But once we get through it, our lives will be so much more wonderful. My life is far from perfect, but being married to Craig makes it so much better than it was before.

You just can't be afraid. You have to push through the difficulties until you've completed your goal. You just have to trust yourself and God.
Oh, and the dress did end up working out, just so you know.