Yep, this is one of those "here's how my year was" posts. But I like posts like this, because when you look back on an entire year, things become pieced together in a way that the whole become greater than the sum.
This year wasn't full of epic adventures, major changes or cool events. This year was not very exciting or fun. However, that doesn't mean this year wasn't important.
Basically, all I did this year was work and learn and work and learn. I was so busy working and learning that I gained 20 pounds. But in all that working and learning, I grew in some important ways:
-I learned how to work better with children.
-I discovered in myself an ability to teach and give wisdom and knowledge to others that I didn't know I had.
-My heart grew; I developed the ability to better see the value in everyone and love people for who they are.
-I came to a better understanding of disabilities and what they really mean.
-I learned more about the type of life I want my family to have someday.
-I learned what being poor really is, and how I am not as poor as I thought I was.
-I learned that I am a better artist than I thought I was.
-I learned just how legitimate depression is in affecting your life.
-I learned how to use the bus system.
-I learned how to be great at cleaning.
-I realized how great it is to have an education
-I realized that there is a profound joy in simple, sincere work.
-I came to understand the importance of peace and quiet.
-I developed the skill of writing Haikus.
-Discovered my love for teaching art to children, art therapy, and the general connections between children and art that are so important and amazing.
So, no, my year wasn't full of cool vacations, parties, friendships, or glamorous events, but through my classes at school, my internship, and my job I learned and experienced many new things that gave me better insight and knowledge on the important, everyday things in life.
That being said, I did have a few exciting things happen:
-I did my first real makeup gig for a music video! "Sadder" by Nik Day. (I did the clown and Nik's makeup)
-My sister Alyssa got married, and both the wedding ceremony and the reception were wonderful
-I went camping over Labor Day weekend and it was beautiful! And I was able to make it to the Swiss Days festival as part of the trip!
-One of my best friends, Kim, got married and I was a bridesmaid. Also a wonderful day.
-I went to the Renaissance Fair dressed up with awesome fantasy makeup.
-I discovered some new favorite music.
-I became addicted to Pinterest. (Me and thousands of others)
-I organized a second craft fair.
-I went to Craft Lake City, which was awesome.
-Spent a relaxing weekend at Bear Lake with the in-laws.
-HP 7.2 midnight showing!
-Worked with countless children throughout the year and loved it.
So that was my year. I feel fortunate to have had all of these experiences. It wasn't an easy year, but it was important.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Debbie Downer
I'll be embarrassed that I wrote this, but it needs to be said.
Depression is a disorder marked by several classic traits, but developed in a variety of ways. Sometimes it is purely biological, sometimes it is psychological habits that affect our Limbic systems physiological workings, sometimes depression is caused by a trigger, such a traumatic event or experience with abuse, and sometimes depression just kind of happens. Often, your eating habit add to the cause of depression. There are many lifestyle factors that contribute to it.
Most people will experience some level of clinical depression of anxiety in their life. It comes at all levels, but chances are, you will face it.
The most common and universal symptoms/characteristics of depression are:
1. Changes in sleep patterns
2. Lack of interest in school, hobbies, etc. when there is usually some interest
3. Feelings of guilt or worry
4. Lack of energy
5. Lack of ability to concentrate
6. Change in appetite. Either you lose your appetite or want to eat for comfort all the time.
7. Psychomotor retardation-this means that you feel like you are going in "slow-motion." Or that everything takes effort or you feel like it's taking a long time to do regular tasks.
8. Lack of sex drive
9. Suicidal ideation
If you have at least 5 of those symptoms for at least a few weeks, you probably have depression. Don't take my word for it though. If you are concerned that you may have depression, go to a doctor or psychological counseling center asap. If you have had suicidal ideations, tell someone asap.
Even if you only experience 3 of these symptoms, it's probably time to check yourself and see that you aren't creating bad habits of failing to take care of yourself. It's probably time for some kind of pick-me-up
Here are some characteristic thoughts/feelings of people with depression:
-Sense of no control
-Loss of hope
-Tendency to compare oneself to other people
-Belief that there aren't enough resources, jobs, talents etc. the go around
-Feeling of universality: that X will happen in every situation. Ex: Every time I try to share my talents, everyone is going to think I am a loser
-Feeling of permanence: that it's never going to get better
-Rumination: A slow, repetitive thought process focusing on a worry, problem, hurt, etc. that is often seen in people with depression, anxiety, or OCD.
-Low self-esteem
I always kind of knew I would have to face depression at some point, I just didn't know when. But here I am, facing it now. As painful and crippling as it is, I know mine isn't even close to severe. I have seen severe, sad cases of depression. I know that people give up sometimes. For some reason I haven't although I have thought about the idea of it: cutting classes, staying in bed, sleeping all day, surviving on junk food, refusing to socialize. Oh how I have longed to just give up..sometimes I don't know why I haven't. Trust me when I say that just because I haven't reached that point doesn't mean I've kept it all together. I don't eat very healthy. My free time is often wasted by sitting around watching movies and youtube. I am blessed that I haven't gotten that deep into depression, and that I have been able to get help early on into it. I think I am on my way out now, but it was been a difficult time.
I am not the same person I used to be. I barely try to be social anymore. I don't feel confident, I feel like I am doing everything wrong, and if I do something right, everyone will still think it's stupid. I get frustrated so easily. I feel worthless. I don't even know how to explain it. I'm just not the same person anymore.
I will be back to my normal self someday. I don't think it will take too long. But in the meantime, don't give me advice, don't judge me for my "bad attitude", just be glad I haven't given up. I'm not writing this to get attention, to announce myself to the world. I just want others who are depressed to know-You are not alone, and I won't judge you. I won't tell you what to do, because you are already smart. Maybe you already know what you should be doing to stop being depressed, and you beat yourself up every day for not being successful at it. I do that a lot, trust me. It's really hard, and I know. And people still love and care about you...but even if you can't think of anyone who does love you, just try to believe that God does. He really does. You are a main concern of his, and he thinks you are totally worth it.
And to everyone else:
You can't just "stop being depressed." It's just so much more than that. It's a process to get out of depression. If you know someone facing depression, validate them. They are dealing with a lot right now, and it's not just psychological. Respect them, comfort them, give them praise for what they are doing in spite of depression. Let them know they have a right to be sad and frustrated, but they won't be forever. Things will get better. Because when you face it yourself, you'll wish you had been more of a friend to those around you who are depressed. I know I do.
I tell myself that sometimes. Things will get better. I think maybe I am starting to believe it.
Depression is a disorder marked by several classic traits, but developed in a variety of ways. Sometimes it is purely biological, sometimes it is psychological habits that affect our Limbic systems physiological workings, sometimes depression is caused by a trigger, such a traumatic event or experience with abuse, and sometimes depression just kind of happens. Often, your eating habit add to the cause of depression. There are many lifestyle factors that contribute to it.
Most people will experience some level of clinical depression of anxiety in their life. It comes at all levels, but chances are, you will face it.
The most common and universal symptoms/characteristics of depression are:
1. Changes in sleep patterns
2. Lack of interest in school, hobbies, etc. when there is usually some interest
3. Feelings of guilt or worry
4. Lack of energy
5. Lack of ability to concentrate
6. Change in appetite. Either you lose your appetite or want to eat for comfort all the time.
7. Psychomotor retardation-this means that you feel like you are going in "slow-motion." Or that everything takes effort or you feel like it's taking a long time to do regular tasks.
8. Lack of sex drive
9. Suicidal ideation
If you have at least 5 of those symptoms for at least a few weeks, you probably have depression. Don't take my word for it though. If you are concerned that you may have depression, go to a doctor or psychological counseling center asap. If you have had suicidal ideations, tell someone asap.
Even if you only experience 3 of these symptoms, it's probably time to check yourself and see that you aren't creating bad habits of failing to take care of yourself. It's probably time for some kind of pick-me-up
Here are some characteristic thoughts/feelings of people with depression:
-Sense of no control
-Loss of hope
-Tendency to compare oneself to other people
-Belief that there aren't enough resources, jobs, talents etc. the go around
-Feeling of universality: that X will happen in every situation. Ex: Every time I try to share my talents, everyone is going to think I am a loser
-Feeling of permanence: that it's never going to get better
-Rumination: A slow, repetitive thought process focusing on a worry, problem, hurt, etc. that is often seen in people with depression, anxiety, or OCD.
-Low self-esteem
I always kind of knew I would have to face depression at some point, I just didn't know when. But here I am, facing it now. As painful and crippling as it is, I know mine isn't even close to severe. I have seen severe, sad cases of depression. I know that people give up sometimes. For some reason I haven't although I have thought about the idea of it: cutting classes, staying in bed, sleeping all day, surviving on junk food, refusing to socialize. Oh how I have longed to just give up..sometimes I don't know why I haven't. Trust me when I say that just because I haven't reached that point doesn't mean I've kept it all together. I don't eat very healthy. My free time is often wasted by sitting around watching movies and youtube. I am blessed that I haven't gotten that deep into depression, and that I have been able to get help early on into it. I think I am on my way out now, but it was been a difficult time.
I am not the same person I used to be. I barely try to be social anymore. I don't feel confident, I feel like I am doing everything wrong, and if I do something right, everyone will still think it's stupid. I get frustrated so easily. I feel worthless. I don't even know how to explain it. I'm just not the same person anymore.
I will be back to my normal self someday. I don't think it will take too long. But in the meantime, don't give me advice, don't judge me for my "bad attitude", just be glad I haven't given up. I'm not writing this to get attention, to announce myself to the world. I just want others who are depressed to know-You are not alone, and I won't judge you. I won't tell you what to do, because you are already smart. Maybe you already know what you should be doing to stop being depressed, and you beat yourself up every day for not being successful at it. I do that a lot, trust me. It's really hard, and I know. And people still love and care about you...but even if you can't think of anyone who does love you, just try to believe that God does. He really does. You are a main concern of his, and he thinks you are totally worth it.
And to everyone else:
You can't just "stop being depressed." It's just so much more than that. It's a process to get out of depression. If you know someone facing depression, validate them. They are dealing with a lot right now, and it's not just psychological. Respect them, comfort them, give them praise for what they are doing in spite of depression. Let them know they have a right to be sad and frustrated, but they won't be forever. Things will get better. Because when you face it yourself, you'll wish you had been more of a friend to those around you who are depressed. I know I do.
I tell myself that sometimes. Things will get better. I think maybe I am starting to believe it.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Something I feel passionate about.
The weather.
I dream of the day I can move to a placce that only has 2 seasons. I honestly hate summer just as much as I hate winter. My body has a hard time adjusting to extreme tempuratures and I don't really like summery clothers or wintery clothes. I like right in between: Light jackets, tights and skirts, and freedon to experiement with layering.
Someday, I would love to live on the northwest coast, somewhere between San Franciso and Seattle. Wouldn't that be wonderful?
When I talk about my dream home in the northwest, I am told things like: "The rain would be depressing..." "It's so cold there, and you would have no summer!" "I would die without sunshine!"
Well, first of all, I love rain and overcast skies. I love the combination of gray and green throughout the landscape. I love the fresh, wet sidewalk smell. Secondly, I would rather spend 10 months of the year in medium-chilly weather than 8 months of the year in freezing snow. Third, the sun gives me migraines, so I pretty much avoid it anyway. I definitely don't go outside to enjoy the sunshine.
Also, when I took a trip up to the northwest to visit family oh so long ago, I thought it was beautiful. There was moss everywhere. All the houses I saw were beautiful too. I guess my family just has good taste in architecture, but I remember seeing other beautiful houses that we drove by as well.
Here's hoping I have the chance to live somewhere where there are no extremes in the weather.
Also, when I took a trip up to the northwest to visit family oh so long ago, I thought it was beautiful. There was moss everywhere. All the houses I saw were beautiful too. I guess my family just has good taste in architecture, but I remember seeing other beautiful houses that we drove by as well.
Here's hoping I have the chance to live somewhere where there are no extremes in the weather.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Clean up.
I feel like it's about time to clean up my emotional life. I feel like there are so many distractions keeping me from having a positive attitude and happy state of mind.
I think I am growing out of social networking. I am so sick of the negativity I see on facebook and I know the same kind of thing will end up happening on Google +. I also am kinda sick of knowing about all the things going on in everyone's lives without talking to them personally. It just doesn't feel good to me...like everyone is their own personal tabloid magazine and no one cares about each other as human beings. But the problem is that I feel so dependent on facebook to keep in touch with everyone and know what's going on.
So, what I am going to do is majorly clean out my friends list, and then I am going to limit my time on facebook to 20 minutes once a day. I think it's time to let people know that I would prefer staying in contact with people that are willing to really keep in touch with me and spend time with me.
I'm willing to admit that I have let my online life take over the meaningful and tangible, and it's time to focus on what matters more. Sure, online networking is great for business, but when it come to people, I think think social networking is too impersonal.
Also, it's time for me to let go of the people that aren't willing to care about me as much as I care about them. I am not really the type to keep score on everything, but there comes a point when you know you are trying to sustain something that is already dead. If these old "friends" show interest in me again, I will willingly give, but I don't need to worry about how I can get people to like me that just don't care anymore.
Letting go is something I don't always like to do, but I try to keep an eternal perspective..someday, far in the future, everyone will love and care for each other and no one will be left alone.
I think I am growing out of social networking. I am so sick of the negativity I see on facebook and I know the same kind of thing will end up happening on Google +. I also am kinda sick of knowing about all the things going on in everyone's lives without talking to them personally. It just doesn't feel good to me...like everyone is their own personal tabloid magazine and no one cares about each other as human beings. But the problem is that I feel so dependent on facebook to keep in touch with everyone and know what's going on.
So, what I am going to do is majorly clean out my friends list, and then I am going to limit my time on facebook to 20 minutes once a day. I think it's time to let people know that I would prefer staying in contact with people that are willing to really keep in touch with me and spend time with me.
I'm willing to admit that I have let my online life take over the meaningful and tangible, and it's time to focus on what matters more. Sure, online networking is great for business, but when it come to people, I think think social networking is too impersonal.
Also, it's time for me to let go of the people that aren't willing to care about me as much as I care about them. I am not really the type to keep score on everything, but there comes a point when you know you are trying to sustain something that is already dead. If these old "friends" show interest in me again, I will willingly give, but I don't need to worry about how I can get people to like me that just don't care anymore.
Letting go is something I don't always like to do, but I try to keep an eternal perspective..someday, far in the future, everyone will love and care for each other and no one will be left alone.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
The Wonders and Mysteries of Self Esteem
Self esteem is an interesting thing. How you feel about yourself pretty much affects how you feel about almost everything else.
I know a lot about self-esteem, but that doesn't mean I have good self-esteem. Knowing and doing can be very different things in the world of emotions.
The fatal sting of comparing yourself to others
Sometimes I look at blog posts and photos that come from other people (especially other young couples) and I wonder how the can be so good at life! I know so many couples that seem to have it all (at least compared to me). They have these nice apartments that they have decorated so nicely, they find jobs so easily, and they have the time and money to go on all these fabulous trips and adventures. I start to wonder what is so wrong with me that I can't seem to do these things.
The other thing that is hard with this is when I see pictures of my friends and how beautiful and accomplished they are. I start to think, "Why can't I control my eating and be skinny like that?" or "Why don't I have the energy and health to do great things with my life?"
Everyone else seems to be able to all these wonderful things, work 40 hours a week, and still look great. I start working 40 hours a week and stress myself out, come home and eat my emotions, watch movies, and still catch a cold from all the stress. My husband and I have a very crappy computer, a tiny (and I mean tiny) apartment, hand-me-down furniture, and jobs as janitors. We don't have much besides our sense of humor and a little bit of ambition.
If you've ever felt this way, just know that your aren't alone, I know exactly how it is to feel like that. If no one understands you, at least I will do the best I can to.
I remember once a year-and-a-half ago I was doing the whole looking at other people's facebook pages and blog and comparing them to me. I started complaining out loud to my roommate about how everyone was having such great lives and I wasn't. She just said "You are doing that comparing thing. You will never feel happy and good about yourself if you do that all the time. I think she knew that I knew it wasn't good for me to do that. Her statement has stuck with me, because it's true. And the thing about it is that it goes both ways. You won't be happy if you compare yourself to others saying that you are better than them either.
How do you get out of this habit? If I knew much about how to stop comparing yourself to others, it might not be such a problem to me.
I think a big part of overcoming this problem is reminding yourself that everyone is a human being, and we all have problems. What we show on the internet is usually the best parts of our lives, not the piles of dishes or the mundane tasks at work, or the fights we have with other people. If you want to know what is going on in someone's life, call them or talk to them in person. It's harder to get jealous when you hear a human voice or see a face.
The other side of self-esteem
Once my cousin said something about how the reason he is so loud, dramatic, and funny is that he totally fears rejection. He protects himself by being loud and making lots of jokes. When I heard that, I realized that I could completely relate to it. Often the people that seem the most confident, and in some cases, arrogant, are the ones with the lowest self-esteem. They alter or exaggerate their behavior to go with how they think people would like them best. They shield their hearts with their loud voices and boasting and jokes. I used to do this a lot as a teenager. But all it did was make me feel empty. I felt so sad that no one saw or understood me for who I really was, but now that I had made myself look and act a certain way, I felt that I either had to stick with the reputation I already had, or I had to build it up with even crazier behavior. Now I am over that, and life is better. But I know that it can be so hard to just be yourself, and I still have moments in life where I feel like I can't just be myself.
What helped me overcome this habit was realizing that giving of myself would bring me more happiness than trying to compel others to give me the attention I craved. Showing interest in other people and giving them attention will bring fulfillment and happiness. However, the key to success with this is not expecting anything back from the other people (except basic human respect). You aren't being sincere when you expect others to give compliments when you give them some. Just accept the fact that not everyone is going to be as thoughtful and caring as you. You'll be surprised at how much love you get when you give without restriction. Of course, you have to draw a line somewhere. If you feel like you are being walked all over, maybe you are giving too much. But a little selflessness goes a long way.
Negativity Hurts
They say for every negative thing you think or say toward someone, it'll takes 10 positive things from you to heal that hurt. Negativity can be a powerful, hurtful thing. Sometimes it drives me crazy to see how rampant cyber-bullying, back-talking, and general negative statements are. Just remember that when someone says something mean, it's almost always because they are hurting too.
I always hurt myself by saying negative things about myself, whether it's out loud or in my head. Everyone does that. I think it's something that we as humans have to battle our whole lives.
In the parenting class I help teach, we have homework for each week, and one of the homework assignments for the self-esteem weeks is to give yourself credit for something good every day. And you have to say it out loud. There is nothing wrong with saying "I sure got those dishes done fast!" or "Wow i was so productive today!" It's okay to acknowledge that you are a great person. As long as you aren't doing it to make yourself feel like you are better than other people. That's when pride creeps in.
Try to be patient with other people and avoid saying negative thing about them. The first step is to not participate when others are gossiping about people. You don't have to chastise them or anything, just don't join in.
Lastly, take care of yourself. Keep your body clean and healthy. If you need help, admit it and find it. It's just fine to ask others for help. I know it can be hard to find time to do fun things or develop your talents, but try to find a way to work those things into your life that bring you happiness. And be willing to learn. Learning feels so good when you are interested in the subject. Even if it's just Youtube tutorials.
I know a lot about self-esteem, but that doesn't mean I have good self-esteem. Knowing and doing can be very different things in the world of emotions.
The fatal sting of comparing yourself to others
Sometimes I look at blog posts and photos that come from other people (especially other young couples) and I wonder how the can be so good at life! I know so many couples that seem to have it all (at least compared to me). They have these nice apartments that they have decorated so nicely, they find jobs so easily, and they have the time and money to go on all these fabulous trips and adventures. I start to wonder what is so wrong with me that I can't seem to do these things.
The other thing that is hard with this is when I see pictures of my friends and how beautiful and accomplished they are. I start to think, "Why can't I control my eating and be skinny like that?" or "Why don't I have the energy and health to do great things with my life?"
Everyone else seems to be able to all these wonderful things, work 40 hours a week, and still look great. I start working 40 hours a week and stress myself out, come home and eat my emotions, watch movies, and still catch a cold from all the stress. My husband and I have a very crappy computer, a tiny (and I mean tiny) apartment, hand-me-down furniture, and jobs as janitors. We don't have much besides our sense of humor and a little bit of ambition.
If you've ever felt this way, just know that your aren't alone, I know exactly how it is to feel like that. If no one understands you, at least I will do the best I can to.
I remember once a year-and-a-half ago I was doing the whole looking at other people's facebook pages and blog and comparing them to me. I started complaining out loud to my roommate about how everyone was having such great lives and I wasn't. She just said "You are doing that comparing thing. You will never feel happy and good about yourself if you do that all the time. I think she knew that I knew it wasn't good for me to do that. Her statement has stuck with me, because it's true. And the thing about it is that it goes both ways. You won't be happy if you compare yourself to others saying that you are better than them either.
How do you get out of this habit? If I knew much about how to stop comparing yourself to others, it might not be such a problem to me.
I think a big part of overcoming this problem is reminding yourself that everyone is a human being, and we all have problems. What we show on the internet is usually the best parts of our lives, not the piles of dishes or the mundane tasks at work, or the fights we have with other people. If you want to know what is going on in someone's life, call them or talk to them in person. It's harder to get jealous when you hear a human voice or see a face.
The other side of self-esteem
Once my cousin said something about how the reason he is so loud, dramatic, and funny is that he totally fears rejection. He protects himself by being loud and making lots of jokes. When I heard that, I realized that I could completely relate to it. Often the people that seem the most confident, and in some cases, arrogant, are the ones with the lowest self-esteem. They alter or exaggerate their behavior to go with how they think people would like them best. They shield their hearts with their loud voices and boasting and jokes. I used to do this a lot as a teenager. But all it did was make me feel empty. I felt so sad that no one saw or understood me for who I really was, but now that I had made myself look and act a certain way, I felt that I either had to stick with the reputation I already had, or I had to build it up with even crazier behavior. Now I am over that, and life is better. But I know that it can be so hard to just be yourself, and I still have moments in life where I feel like I can't just be myself.
What helped me overcome this habit was realizing that giving of myself would bring me more happiness than trying to compel others to give me the attention I craved. Showing interest in other people and giving them attention will bring fulfillment and happiness. However, the key to success with this is not expecting anything back from the other people (except basic human respect). You aren't being sincere when you expect others to give compliments when you give them some. Just accept the fact that not everyone is going to be as thoughtful and caring as you. You'll be surprised at how much love you get when you give without restriction. Of course, you have to draw a line somewhere. If you feel like you are being walked all over, maybe you are giving too much. But a little selflessness goes a long way.
Negativity Hurts
They say for every negative thing you think or say toward someone, it'll takes 10 positive things from you to heal that hurt. Negativity can be a powerful, hurtful thing. Sometimes it drives me crazy to see how rampant cyber-bullying, back-talking, and general negative statements are. Just remember that when someone says something mean, it's almost always because they are hurting too.
I always hurt myself by saying negative things about myself, whether it's out loud or in my head. Everyone does that. I think it's something that we as humans have to battle our whole lives.
In the parenting class I help teach, we have homework for each week, and one of the homework assignments for the self-esteem weeks is to give yourself credit for something good every day. And you have to say it out loud. There is nothing wrong with saying "I sure got those dishes done fast!" or "Wow i was so productive today!" It's okay to acknowledge that you are a great person. As long as you aren't doing it to make yourself feel like you are better than other people. That's when pride creeps in.
Try to be patient with other people and avoid saying negative thing about them. The first step is to not participate when others are gossiping about people. You don't have to chastise them or anything, just don't join in.
Lastly, take care of yourself. Keep your body clean and healthy. If you need help, admit it and find it. It's just fine to ask others for help. I know it can be hard to find time to do fun things or develop your talents, but try to find a way to work those things into your life that bring you happiness. And be willing to learn. Learning feels so good when you are interested in the subject. Even if it's just Youtube tutorials.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
A Quiet Mind, Part 2
“Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes and the grass grows by itself.”
-Zen Proverb
Have you ever just let a problem go? Did it fix itself? Last year, I was in therapy for anxiety, and I learned a very important lesson about quieting the mind. When I had anxious thoughts, I worried about them so much and I just wanted to fix those anxious thoughts, banish them and never let them return. But the more I tried to reason with the anxious thoughts, the worse my anxiety became.
In therapy, I learned to just stop caring so much about it. Those worries and thoughts weren't helping me, so why should I pay attention to them? I just learned to let the worries come, and then let them be. I learned that I don't have control over everything, but I can control my reactions, and my reactions can influence my situation for the better. There is a great peace of mind that comes when you realize you don't have to control everything, you just have to trust yourself to make the best choice regarding your situation. And a big part of trusting yourself is accepting that you'll have worries, but you don't have to dwell on them.
My Faith and A Quiet Mind
Part of what gives me peace of mind is knowing that God is there for me, and knows I have great potential for good. Knowing how God feels about me helps me feel love for others, and helps me feel more peaceful about my future.
Part of that peace comes from following God's Commandments and the guidance of the Gospel and the Holy Ghost. I've learned that when I am doing the right things with my everyday life, I will have more peace during bigger life changes or decisions, because my spirit will be strong from it's diet of study, prayer, and faith. Just like when you eat a diet of healthy foods, your body craves things that are good for you. When you are trying to be good and honest and faithful every day, you yourself with be drawn to things that will be a positive influence in your life and you will be safe from influences that can harm you. Soon you learn to have an inner peace and trust yourself. It's something you must work on every day, but that's the great part about it. You can slowly grow and adjust and improve, and knowing that it's a step-by-step process gives me great peace.
Trusting God brings that peace to a whole new level. Knowing that he only brings things into your life for your good makes you realize that the difficult times you have won't last forever, and those hardships will bring you blessings and strength you couldn't receive otherwise. Tell yourself to trust God. It takes practice. Accept that you won't be perfect at it and you will give yourself room to keep improving.
“In quiet places, reason abounds.” -Adlai Stevenson
Are there practical applications to practice quieting the mind? Of course! With all I have discussed, there are real-life things you can do to strengthen your peace of mind so you can process your relationships,, problems, anxiety, or faith more efficiently. Here are some things I have tried or want to try.
1. Tai Chi: The only time I experienced Tai Chi was when I was 15 and attended a workshop about it at a Choir Camp I was enrolled in. There was something wonderful about just focusing on the energy you have inside yourself and around you, and thinking of nothing else. Moving so slow and quietly brought my senses to full attention and made my mind clear and focused. I am signed up in a Tai Chi class for fall semester, and hopefully my schedule will be kind enough to me so I won't have to drop it. I really look foward to learning more.
2. A clean environment: Everyone has heard this, but it's so true. A clean living and working space helps free the mind. The best way I can explain this is with Autism. Autism Spectrum Disorder is just that- a spectrum. At one end of the spectrum is the severely autistic children, and at the other end is those with high functioning Asberger's. If you go further than that, you get ADHD, and then ADD, and then you eventually get to "normal", everyday people. Well guess what? A common symptom of ADD, ADHD, and Autism is that people with these "disorders" are highly affected by disorganized and cluttered environments. I personally think that is a sign of the fact that it's human nature to not be able to cope well mentally with a messy environment. Because we are ALL on the spectrum and are affected by many of the same, basic stimulants around us. Hopefully that makes sense and hopefully I haven't offended anyone, because in my experience with Austistic children, they really aren't a different "type" than the rest of the world, they just have different strengths and weaknesses than the Non-Autistic population.
3. Meditation: Visualizing, Listening to peaceful music, repeating an encouraging mantra, or whatever it is, it's important to take a few quiet moments for yourself every once and a while to just think or not think. My personal favorite way to meditate is by listening to beautiful instrumental music and dreaming about what my mutant powers would be. Or, just thinking about whatever positive thing I have to look forward to in life, my dreams, and the people I love.
4. Prayer and Temple Attendance, and Scripture Study: Developing that trusting relationship with God and reading His wise words along with the words of the prophets in history can be a great reminder of what this life is all about distract us from the troubles of the world we live in.
5. Nature: Being out in nature and seeing the beautiful things in the world is a great way to quiet the mind. You don't even have to think about it or meditate. Just go out somewhere with plants and dirt and sky and look around. The natural, beautiful design or the world brings peace to the senses.
6. Follow the Example of Uncle Iroh: Anyone watch Avatar: The Last Airbender? One of my favorite characters is the Uncle of Prince Zuko, and I realized why I admire him so much is because he makes the best of every situation he is in and doesn't fall apart when things go wrong. He still takes care of his health, is kind to those around him, and he knows who he is wan encourages other people to think through things calmly. I love that.
7. Express Yourself: Scrapbooking, Sports, Drawing, Dancing, Talking, Writing, Singing, whatever it is, just try to incorporate it into your life when you can. Include relationships in this. For me, it's makeup and creating my own accessories. Does it make you feel like you accomplished a little extra? Did it give you excercise? Did you bond with someone?
I'm not perfect at any of these, and it important to remember that you can't be unrealistic with yourself. I still want to learn more about meditation and quieting my mind, and hopefully I can share what I learn. But for now, I just hope I touched someone's heart today and helped them find a little more peace in their lives.
-Zen Proverb
Have you ever just let a problem go? Did it fix itself? Last year, I was in therapy for anxiety, and I learned a very important lesson about quieting the mind. When I had anxious thoughts, I worried about them so much and I just wanted to fix those anxious thoughts, banish them and never let them return. But the more I tried to reason with the anxious thoughts, the worse my anxiety became.
In therapy, I learned to just stop caring so much about it. Those worries and thoughts weren't helping me, so why should I pay attention to them? I just learned to let the worries come, and then let them be. I learned that I don't have control over everything, but I can control my reactions, and my reactions can influence my situation for the better. There is a great peace of mind that comes when you realize you don't have to control everything, you just have to trust yourself to make the best choice regarding your situation. And a big part of trusting yourself is accepting that you'll have worries, but you don't have to dwell on them.
My Faith and A Quiet Mind
Part of what gives me peace of mind is knowing that God is there for me, and knows I have great potential for good. Knowing how God feels about me helps me feel love for others, and helps me feel more peaceful about my future.
Part of that peace comes from following God's Commandments and the guidance of the Gospel and the Holy Ghost. I've learned that when I am doing the right things with my everyday life, I will have more peace during bigger life changes or decisions, because my spirit will be strong from it's diet of study, prayer, and faith. Just like when you eat a diet of healthy foods, your body craves things that are good for you. When you are trying to be good and honest and faithful every day, you yourself with be drawn to things that will be a positive influence in your life and you will be safe from influences that can harm you. Soon you learn to have an inner peace and trust yourself. It's something you must work on every day, but that's the great part about it. You can slowly grow and adjust and improve, and knowing that it's a step-by-step process gives me great peace.
Trusting God brings that peace to a whole new level. Knowing that he only brings things into your life for your good makes you realize that the difficult times you have won't last forever, and those hardships will bring you blessings and strength you couldn't receive otherwise. Tell yourself to trust God. It takes practice. Accept that you won't be perfect at it and you will give yourself room to keep improving.
“In quiet places, reason abounds.” -Adlai Stevenson
Are there practical applications to practice quieting the mind? Of course! With all I have discussed, there are real-life things you can do to strengthen your peace of mind so you can process your relationships,, problems, anxiety, or faith more efficiently. Here are some things I have tried or want to try.
1. Tai Chi: The only time I experienced Tai Chi was when I was 15 and attended a workshop about it at a Choir Camp I was enrolled in. There was something wonderful about just focusing on the energy you have inside yourself and around you, and thinking of nothing else. Moving so slow and quietly brought my senses to full attention and made my mind clear and focused. I am signed up in a Tai Chi class for fall semester, and hopefully my schedule will be kind enough to me so I won't have to drop it. I really look foward to learning more.
2. A clean environment: Everyone has heard this, but it's so true. A clean living and working space helps free the mind. The best way I can explain this is with Autism. Autism Spectrum Disorder is just that- a spectrum. At one end of the spectrum is the severely autistic children, and at the other end is those with high functioning Asberger's. If you go further than that, you get ADHD, and then ADD, and then you eventually get to "normal", everyday people. Well guess what? A common symptom of ADD, ADHD, and Autism is that people with these "disorders" are highly affected by disorganized and cluttered environments. I personally think that is a sign of the fact that it's human nature to not be able to cope well mentally with a messy environment. Because we are ALL on the spectrum and are affected by many of the same, basic stimulants around us. Hopefully that makes sense and hopefully I haven't offended anyone, because in my experience with Austistic children, they really aren't a different "type" than the rest of the world, they just have different strengths and weaknesses than the Non-Autistic population.
3. Meditation: Visualizing, Listening to peaceful music, repeating an encouraging mantra, or whatever it is, it's important to take a few quiet moments for yourself every once and a while to just think or not think. My personal favorite way to meditate is by listening to beautiful instrumental music and dreaming about what my mutant powers would be. Or, just thinking about whatever positive thing I have to look forward to in life, my dreams, and the people I love.
4. Prayer and Temple Attendance, and Scripture Study: Developing that trusting relationship with God and reading His wise words along with the words of the prophets in history can be a great reminder of what this life is all about distract us from the troubles of the world we live in.
5. Nature: Being out in nature and seeing the beautiful things in the world is a great way to quiet the mind. You don't even have to think about it or meditate. Just go out somewhere with plants and dirt and sky and look around. The natural, beautiful design or the world brings peace to the senses.
6. Follow the Example of Uncle Iroh: Anyone watch Avatar: The Last Airbender? One of my favorite characters is the Uncle of Prince Zuko, and I realized why I admire him so much is because he makes the best of every situation he is in and doesn't fall apart when things go wrong. He still takes care of his health, is kind to those around him, and he knows who he is wan encourages other people to think through things calmly. I love that.
7. Express Yourself: Scrapbooking, Sports, Drawing, Dancing, Talking, Writing, Singing, whatever it is, just try to incorporate it into your life when you can. Include relationships in this. For me, it's makeup and creating my own accessories. Does it make you feel like you accomplished a little extra? Did it give you excercise? Did you bond with someone?
I'm not perfect at any of these, and it important to remember that you can't be unrealistic with yourself. I still want to learn more about meditation and quieting my mind, and hopefully I can share what I learn. But for now, I just hope I touched someone's heart today and helped them find a little more peace in their lives.
A quiet mind Pt. 1
If I were to name anyone that has a quiet, peaceful mind in this world, I wouldn't point to myself. My mind is often racing and frantic, filled with worries and excuses and charts comparing pros and cons of every decision I have to make. However, lately I have have the ideas of developing the art of quieting the mind impressed upon me. Piece by piece, little lessons have been given me "Distilled as the dews from heaven", if you will) about why and how I should practice quieting my mind.
“Happiness means quiet nerves.”- W.C. Fields
I'm not going to say that a happy life is filled with quietness and peace. I do believe that every life is an adventure, and we must learn to embrace that. However, a balanced life with quiet moments will help us be better equipped with the ability to decide how happy we are. Here's an example:
I love to dance. Dance parties bring me a whole ton of joy. All that dancing just purges me of excess energy and emotion. After a good night out dancing, I love to turn on some quiet, orchestrated music and have a quiet conversation with a friend. When I am able to follow that type of routine, living with gusto and then giving myself time for sweet reflection or conversation, my mind feels balanced and i can truly grow from what I am experiencing. The more I grow, the more I am able to decide for myself how I will handle my emotions. I can decide I am happy.
Being Quiet in Relationships
In relationships, there are a couple different ways being quiet can help. One way is the quietness of acceptance. How many times do you see a parent or spouse being bothered by some little thing a family member does and they just HAVE to say something? Or what about when you feel hurt or wronged and you want to bounce back with a loud retort? Something in me recently has told me to stop that. I don't know how I learned it, but now when I want to nag a family member or tell someone off, I just stop myself and keep quiet. And it's been great. There are so many hurtful things I haven't said, because I just shut that little angry voice up and told myself that saying something negative wasn't going to change anything. Because it doesn't.
Just take a chance to accept things that aren't of urgent importance. If your friend is being insensitive, it is not your place to loudly disagree. Your place is to quietly stick to what you know is right, say kind words, and move on. Yes, sometimes we do need to stand up, fight back, etc. but sometimes just quietly moving on will get the point across.
Acceptance of your loved ones problems or flaws is a another part of being quiet in relationships. Remember, you can try to help, but you can't control or change a person. A soft, loving voice will help your children or spouse listen and change, not a loud, demanding voice. This concept of loving acceptance is one that social workers and therapists keep in their minds all the time to help them feel peace as they help others through their problems. Today I read about a woman's dramatic "Intervention meeting" held for her by her family, where they assertively expressed hurt and concern for her as she stayed in an abusive relationship. Instead of feeling loved and cared for, she felt like she needed to put up defenses against her family. What she needed was to be told that she was loved and accepted, bad decisions and all. If she had felt that quiet acceptance, she would probably be more willing to listen to the points her family was trying to make about her well-being.
Parents, children communicate their needs in many indirect ways, and it is up to parents to be quiet enough to pay attention to the cues their children give them. Perhaps your child is acting out because they are lacking in something they need, be it sleep, affection , or playtime. Or perhaps your child won't look up or they are talking less than usual. If you simplify and quiet your mind enough, you will be able to pay attention to these things and know that your children are in need of help and guidance.
Also, spending quiet time one-on-one with family members makes it easier to communicate needs and stresses.
Lastly, taking a moment to be quiet before a dealing with a relationship problem can help you clear you head and think about what you really need to say. This is something I am definitely not good at, but I am working on it. Often when I do this I realize how badly I need to humble myself and apologize, which then brings humility to the other party and everyone is happy.
“Happiness means quiet nerves.”- W.C. Fields
I'm not going to say that a happy life is filled with quietness and peace. I do believe that every life is an adventure, and we must learn to embrace that. However, a balanced life with quiet moments will help us be better equipped with the ability to decide how happy we are. Here's an example:
I love to dance. Dance parties bring me a whole ton of joy. All that dancing just purges me of excess energy and emotion. After a good night out dancing, I love to turn on some quiet, orchestrated music and have a quiet conversation with a friend. When I am able to follow that type of routine, living with gusto and then giving myself time for sweet reflection or conversation, my mind feels balanced and i can truly grow from what I am experiencing. The more I grow, the more I am able to decide for myself how I will handle my emotions. I can decide I am happy.
Being Quiet in Relationships
In relationships, there are a couple different ways being quiet can help. One way is the quietness of acceptance. How many times do you see a parent or spouse being bothered by some little thing a family member does and they just HAVE to say something? Or what about when you feel hurt or wronged and you want to bounce back with a loud retort? Something in me recently has told me to stop that. I don't know how I learned it, but now when I want to nag a family member or tell someone off, I just stop myself and keep quiet. And it's been great. There are so many hurtful things I haven't said, because I just shut that little angry voice up and told myself that saying something negative wasn't going to change anything. Because it doesn't.
Just take a chance to accept things that aren't of urgent importance. If your friend is being insensitive, it is not your place to loudly disagree. Your place is to quietly stick to what you know is right, say kind words, and move on. Yes, sometimes we do need to stand up, fight back, etc. but sometimes just quietly moving on will get the point across.
Acceptance of your loved ones problems or flaws is a another part of being quiet in relationships. Remember, you can try to help, but you can't control or change a person. A soft, loving voice will help your children or spouse listen and change, not a loud, demanding voice. This concept of loving acceptance is one that social workers and therapists keep in their minds all the time to help them feel peace as they help others through their problems. Today I read about a woman's dramatic "Intervention meeting" held for her by her family, where they assertively expressed hurt and concern for her as she stayed in an abusive relationship. Instead of feeling loved and cared for, she felt like she needed to put up defenses against her family. What she needed was to be told that she was loved and accepted, bad decisions and all. If she had felt that quiet acceptance, she would probably be more willing to listen to the points her family was trying to make about her well-being.
Parents, children communicate their needs in many indirect ways, and it is up to parents to be quiet enough to pay attention to the cues their children give them. Perhaps your child is acting out because they are lacking in something they need, be it sleep, affection , or playtime. Or perhaps your child won't look up or they are talking less than usual. If you simplify and quiet your mind enough, you will be able to pay attention to these things and know that your children are in need of help and guidance.
Also, spending quiet time one-on-one with family members makes it easier to communicate needs and stresses.
Lastly, taking a moment to be quiet before a dealing with a relationship problem can help you clear you head and think about what you really need to say. This is something I am definitely not good at, but I am working on it. Often when I do this I realize how badly I need to humble myself and apologize, which then brings humility to the other party and everyone is happy.
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