Word Barf:
That's what I have found my blog to be. This blog probably makes me sound incredibly moody, unintelligent, and irresponsible. I hope it hasn't given too much of a bad impression. The thing is, I really am a great writer. I just don't care to write anything that good on here. I always get A's on my papers, and have ever since I can remember. If I had a career as a writer or journalist, I would be successful, and hate every second of it.
I guess I am just validating to myself that even though I don't have a pretty background, I am not good at posting cool photos, and my prose isn't gorgeous, the whole point of this blog from the beginning was to help me document my life, and let out the topics struggling to get out. I don't know why I write what I write, but I don't really care.
Married Life:
I got married on June 1st, 2010. It was amazing. Since getting married, my character and personality are already evolving in totally new ways. Sharing life with Craig is great because everything is so much more rich with humor, fascinating, and fun. We really ignite each others' creativity. What I've found is that what makes Craig and I fit together so well is that we are both dreamers. We daydream about all these fantastic things, and we yearn for life to be extraordinary.
Anyway. We've got our apartment looking pretty cute now, and have made a couple friends in the ward. Life isn't easy, but it is so much better. Maybe I will post about the cruise we went on for our honeymoon, but honestly the most exciting part for me was buying stuff to wear. I was so tired the whole time, because the ship made me super dizzy.
But there was a craft fair at Freeport, and that just made me so happy. I bought the cutest seashell earrings, and we got christmas ornaments.
I also bought a t-shirt, to cut and tie, a pin made from fish scales, and a dress. woo!
Confidence:
Something I lack lately. Reasons?
1. I've been gaining weight. After going a month before the wedding too stressed and busy for healthy food or an exercise regimen, it's become difficult to get back on track. I hate how it makes me feel. and I hate how tired I am. Seriously, all the *insert bad word here* that happened with the wedding practically destroyed my body. Why is everyone so mean to brides?
2. Job hunting. I've been going at it for way too long. It makes me feel sooo...dumb. I have learned all the tricks for writing good resumes, how to dress and talk like the perfect job candidate, but I just can't get a job. It's so frustrating to me, and I feel like an invalid, spending so much time at home. I know it's mostly because there are very few jobs available and many, many seekers, but I need to work. I need it to be sane. Everyone does. Plus with this constant applying for jobs, I feel this huge pressure to be absolutely perfect, and I am not.
I don't know what to do about it. I feel like even bringing these thing up now is a bad idea, like it'll just make everything worse. Somehow I just keep trying to get a job. That's one thing about me that would make me a valuable employee, is that no matter how bad it is, I just keep trying anyway with a smile on my face. I have gotten really good at pretending to be perfect, that's for sure. I should be a secret agent, seriously.
All in all, life is still better being married. Craig is so encouraging and we have so much fun together.
