I'll be embarrassed that I wrote this, but it needs to be said.
Depression is a disorder marked by several classic traits, but developed in a variety of ways. Sometimes it is purely biological, sometimes it is psychological habits that affect our Limbic systems physiological workings, sometimes depression is caused by a trigger, such a traumatic event or experience with abuse, and sometimes depression just kind of happens. Often, your eating habit add to the cause of depression. There are many lifestyle factors that contribute to it.
Most people will experience some level of clinical depression of anxiety in their life. It comes at all levels, but chances are, you will face it.
The most common and universal symptoms/characteristics of depression are:
1. Changes in sleep patterns
2. Lack of interest in school, hobbies, etc. when there is usually some interest
3. Feelings of guilt or worry
4. Lack of energy
5. Lack of ability to concentrate
6. Change in appetite. Either you lose your appetite or want to eat for comfort all the time.
7. Psychomotor retardation-this means that you feel like you are going in "slow-motion." Or that everything takes effort or you feel like it's taking a long time to do regular tasks.
8. Lack of sex drive
9. Suicidal ideation
If you have at least 5 of those symptoms for at least a few weeks, you probably have depression. Don't take my word for it though. If you are concerned that you may have depression, go to a doctor or psychological counseling center asap. If you have had suicidal ideations, tell someone asap.
Even if you only experience 3 of these symptoms, it's probably time to check yourself and see that you aren't creating bad habits of failing to take care of yourself. It's probably time for some kind of pick-me-up
Here are some characteristic thoughts/feelings of people with depression:
-Sense of no control
-Loss of hope
-Tendency to compare oneself to other people
-Belief that there aren't enough resources, jobs, talents etc. the go around
-Feeling of universality: that X will happen in every situation. Ex: Every time I try to share my talents, everyone is going to think I am a loser
-Feeling of permanence: that it's never going to get better
-Rumination: A slow, repetitive thought process focusing on a worry, problem, hurt, etc. that is often seen in people with depression, anxiety, or OCD.
-Low self-esteem
I always kind of knew I would have to face depression at some point, I just didn't know when. But here I am, facing it now. As painful and crippling as it is, I know mine isn't even close to severe. I have seen severe, sad cases of depression. I know that people give up sometimes. For some reason I haven't although I have thought about the idea of it: cutting classes, staying in bed, sleeping all day, surviving on junk food, refusing to socialize. Oh how I have longed to just give up..sometimes I don't know why I haven't. Trust me when I say that just because I haven't reached that point doesn't mean I've kept it all together. I don't eat very healthy. My free time is often wasted by sitting around watching movies and youtube. I am blessed that I haven't gotten that deep into depression, and that I have been able to get help early on into it. I think I am on my way out now, but it was been a difficult time.
I am not the same person I used to be. I barely try to be social anymore. I don't feel confident, I feel like I am doing everything wrong, and if I do something right, everyone will still think it's stupid. I get frustrated so easily. I feel worthless. I don't even know how to explain it. I'm just not the same person anymore.
I will be back to my normal self someday. I don't think it will take too long. But in the meantime, don't give me advice, don't judge me for my "bad attitude", just be glad I haven't given up. I'm not writing this to get attention, to announce myself to the world. I just want others who are depressed to know-You are not alone, and I won't judge you. I won't tell you what to do, because you are already smart. Maybe you already know what you should be doing to stop being depressed, and you beat yourself up every day for not being successful at it. I do that a lot, trust me. It's really hard, and I know. And people still love and care about you...but even if you can't think of anyone who does love you, just try to believe that God does. He really does. You are a main concern of his, and he thinks you are totally worth it.
And to everyone else:
You can't just "stop being depressed." It's just so much more than that. It's a process to get out of depression. If you know someone facing depression, validate them. They are dealing with a lot right now, and it's not just psychological. Respect them, comfort them, give them praise for what they are doing in spite of depression. Let them know they have a right to be sad and frustrated, but they won't be forever. Things will get better. Because when you face it yourself, you'll wish you had been more of a friend to those around you who are depressed. I know I do.
I tell myself that sometimes. Things will get better. I think maybe I am starting to believe it.
