Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Lessons learned in Harry Potter

Today is Harry Potter's Neville Longbottom's and J.K. Rowling's birthday. I acknowledge this day every year because I really love the Harry Potter series. I am one of the people that grew up in what I like to call the "HP generation."  I was a kid/teenager during the time the books and movies were being released. I waited in suspense and excitement for the next book to be released. I celebrated the release of each movie. I felt an exciting bond with other people in the HP generation, whether I knew them personally or not. It was like that for almost everybody that spent their formative years reading the book series and watching the movies. And yes, I even went to midnight release parties of the movies (and the 7th book) and had the time of my life. People not in this generation usually don't "get it." Those people might ask, "Why does Harry Potter have such a cult following? Why do all these kids (most of us not being young adults) practically pretend this fictional world is real? Why do they always go back to reading the books over again?"

I am going to let someone with a degree in anthropology figure those questions. For this blog, right now, I will just list the lessons I personally learned from the Harry Potter series, as a way to record some of the impact it had on my life. I wish I had the time to go into detail about how these lessons were learned and how my life changed, but I don't so it's going to be a quick list.

1. "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live" Dumbledore says it best.
2. Our choices truly make up who we are, much more than our abilities, and even our potential. We can choose to be a better person, even if we have so much ability to do wrong. Even if we gravitate towards something that is wrong.
3. Most people are not clear-cut "good" or "bad." Everybody has a past, and everybody makes mistakes.
4. You don't have to be weighed down by other people's judgments. It's okay not to fit in with the crowd and just be happy with your own interests and personality.
5. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat their inferiors. In fact, someone truly worth being around doesn't really believe in "inferiors."
6. The world is full of prejudice. But in the end, not one race or culture does it best.
7. People need to have more control and choices than the government does.
8. Keeping your cool and being humble and polite with protect you more than being angry and defensive.
9. Knowledge is power!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Things I am not.

Misconceptions: they happen all the time. People think they know everything. People think they know each other when actually pathetically, embarrassingly know so very little.

Have you ever felt like people get the wrong idea about you? Make weird assumptions that make no sense to you?

I definitely have. Sometimes it's annoying. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes you just want to shove those misconceptions back into their faces and prove to them how awesome and unique you truly are. I'm willing to bet most people have felt this way at some point.

Well, I am about to (kind of) live out that fantasy of self-declaration. Because...why not? It's my blog, and I think this is a great journal entry, and maybe someone will read it and be able to relate. And I think relating to stuff feels great.

So I present to you: Misconceptions people have had about me and the real truth.

1. Misconception: I am completely sheltered and as a result, close minded, judgmental, and ultra-conservative. This one happens to me on a regular basis. I mean it really happens a lot. Is it because I dress modestly and don't swear? I don't even know what the deal is with this one, but it's a solid fact that people think this about me when they first meet me.
Truth: Ok...so I don't swear, drink, sleep around, etc etc etc....and I never have done much of anything "worldly" I guess. I live pretty solidly by LDS standards, and I am totally ok with that. But to think I am completely sheltered is ridiculous. Let's be honest. There is very little you can tell me that will completely shock me. Gross me out? Maybe, but I can deal with it. If you swear and tell dirty jokes, or a number of other things, will I freak out? Probably not. It's not really my biz how you live your life. As long as you are respectful about it I am fine. I don't shove my stuff into other people's faces, and as long as they don't shove their stuff into mine (or potentially hurt people with it) I don't see a need to make a big deal. Also, people often don't know about the human development classes I had to take in college. I have studied things that make even some of the most "rebellious" and "hardened" people I know cringe. (Between my Human Sexuality, Abuse and Neglect classes and my internship working closely with social workers, I've seen and heard plenty.) And I can talk about it and think about touchy subjects completely rationally without freaking out. It's one of my special talents.

2. Misconception: I'm an airhead.
Truth: I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but sheesh give me some credit. I'm not totally shallow, and I'm not a failure in academics.  I graduated with honors. I love to learn. But I often feel like people think there is nothing going on inside my little brain. That's not very fair.

3. Misconception: Once upon a time, lots of people thought I was going to be a music/musical theatre/vocal performance major. They heard me sing as a teenager and thought that was what I was destined for. I have one relative that was actually way disappointed when he found out I have hardly done a thing with my voice since starting college. This is one assumption that is super amusing to me.
Truth: Performing is so fun. But really, what would I have done with a degree in music? I love music, but come on. I'm really not that great of a singer. And I know that all that music knowledge would have become obsolete to me eventually. And I just am not made of the stuff it takes to be a professional performer. It's not a confidence issue, it the fact that I am not that passionate about it. And going to school for art and human development was perfect for me. I love that I have gotten to delve into the mystery of what makes people tick. I use what I learned in college every day!

4: Misconception: I'm a hopeless romantic. I love chick flicks, believe in perfect relationships, etc.
Truth: The more you get to know me, the quicker this one disappears. I can hardly stand chick flicks. I don't believe in soul mates, and I don't believe that it's possible to have a perfect relationship. I do however, believe that love is a strong, powerful, divine part of life, and that our choices make it what it is. I also believe that conflict in relationships can be normal and healthy if partnered with problem solving skills and a desire for progress. I am definitely more of a realist than a romantic. Does that mean I watch all movies and read all books with a stern look on my face? Definitely not. I am totally capable of enjoying giggle fits and daydreaming. I just don't think much of movies such as "My Best Friend's Wedding" or "The Notebook." And there aren't nearly as many quotes about love in fancy lettering on my Pinterest as there are Star Wars related pictures. (and if you are totally that quote/chickflick type person, don't worry. I won't judge.)

Saturday, February 23, 2013

The Best Kind of Falling Out

Today, I wrote to a friend, trying to give some encouragement on his situation. I feel like what I wrote came from the heart and is something anyone could apply to themselves to make their lives better and more joyful. Here is what I wrote:

"If there is one thing I have learned in life, being flexible and having plenty of trust in God is going to bring you a lot more happiness. Here are some examples:
1. I
wanted to travel more and wait to get married. But then I got married. And a year later, he changed his major to international studies! Now we are saving up to go to Europe for part of his schooling!
2. I said I would never work retail again, because I thought it was such a draining boring, drama-filled job to have. Well, then I became desperate for work and eventually got hired at DownEast, and I work at the mall. But, I have THE BEST coworkers that make me laugh my face off and I just got promoted! Plus lots of cute clothes for cheaps!
3. I was thinking of dropping out of college to go to makeup school, but for some reason, I decided I needed to stay and finish my Bachelor's degree. Well, because of that I ended up getting a volunteer internship serving children and parents in need. It was one of the best experiences I have ever had, and I learned things that I use every day to make my life better! Plus, that experience helped land my other current job, working at a really amazing preschool, teaching sweet little children that I love love love.
In all of these situations, I ended up not getting what I "wanted", but in the end I got blessings that gave me so much more joy than I could have anticipated. If you have a strong desire and it is something that is righteous and enriching to your life, God will help you obtain happiness, though it may be in a different way than you expected. But in order for that to work, you have to have faith and trust Him. The better of an attitude you have, the sooner that happiness will come."


This advice was met with pretty negative feedback. I wasn't giving him this advice to tell him exactly what to do in this particular situation or how to live his life, I just wanted to show that sometimes things don't happen how we plan and not to be sad and upset about it. I said things that I know have helped me be more happy and I thought could be comforting to him.
I suppose he isn't yet at a state of mind where he could read other's thoughts and learn something useful from them without completely agreeing with every word. 

I would like to make one correction to what I wrote, which is that if you have a certain desire or dream that is righteous I personally think that with lots of faith and prayer and doing your best to obtain it, God will give you many blessings along the way to help you reach that dream. However, I can't guarantee that, because sometimes things just aren't meant to be (and it's not my place to say what will and won't happen in someone's life), but as stated previously, something better will come if you keep doing your best. 

Anyway, I have terminated contact with this person. Don't think I am a loose cannon for doing this, please don't. He has done some pretty hurtful things in the past and I feel like I have done my part to politely express my feelings plenty of times (and forgive him), but each time he clearly shows that he doesn't have much empathy or understanding when other people get hurt.  I kinda saw this coming and knew that it was time to be done with the unhealthy negativity and drama he was bringing into my life.

So if you're here to learn something learn this: 
1. Follow your dreams, but have a nice flexible, positive attitude about it.
2. You deserve more than negative friends who can't appreciate your kind gestures and forgiveness.

Trying faithfully to do my best,
Brynn